Apologies to my Family

First of all, I am fine!  I just feel the need to say this somewhere.

Mom, I apologize for not always being there for you.  I feel I have let you down in many ways.  Do know how much I love you and appreciate all you have done for me.  I am sorry for not expressing it to you at all the times I could and should have.

Dad, I know you have past on but I am sorry for being stubborn, and for testing your patience when I knew you had a short fuse.  I love and miss you!!!

To my children, I apologize for my short-comings, for my lack of consistency through the years, for not preparing you to live outside of our family as well as I could and should have, for not cracking the whip at the appropriate times, for holding on when I should have pushed you out, for the times when I was here but not.  I will always believe that each of you has great potential because I have seen it.  I believe that you can do anything you put your minds to and stick with.  I will love you always.  I will miss you when you are not around.

To my grandchildren, I apologize for not being a fun grandma, for not doing more things with you.  I love you and will try to improve our relationships.

To my darling husband, I apologize for not handling things the best they could have, for wasting resources, for not preparing better for your retirement, for having you do the dirty work when I get us into jams, for being emotionally unstable at times, for not keeping a clean enough home, for over-planning and not following through, for all my over-thinking, for my getting your hopes up about possibilities, for all the wild-ass things I have done and drug you right along with me, for being so impatient, for planning too big a projects to be accomplished in my timeline (which is usually so off and unrealistic).  I could not have married a better man, I am not saying you are perfect.  I just feel that not many people in the world would have been suited to who I am and who I have become throughout the years.  I love you dearly!!  I appreciate you greatly!!  And you have made my life special :)