My OA Ordeal Weekend

There was much debate about me going through the ordeal.  And the debate was largely with me, myself and I.
I questioned becoming a member because many men, don't really want women in the OA or scouting.
I questioned because I hate politics, and there is politics.
I questioned because I don't know why I deserved the honor.
I questioned because I feel it is a strong commitment and am unsure still if I have the time or energy.
I questioned because how do I keep my mouth shut, when I see leaders not allowing it to be youth lead as it is suppose to be.
In the end, it came down to Ben went through alot to get me tapped out.  Many of the young men, I have grown to love over the past couples years were thrilled it happened.  How could I let them down?
So I did it. It was worth it in the end because I proved to myself I could do it.
There was happy and sad about it.  As with all things.  There were people there I hold dear and there were people who were not able to be there.  One of those being Nick.
I was grateful for the rain but not until the next day.  We worked outside in the rain (off and on rain) all day.  Our ordeal group accomplished quite a bit.  I was soaked to the skin.  I feel I pulled my share of the load.  I feel I can improve upon my skills.  I hope to be at the ordeal coming up, so that I can be an Elangomat and set the example.
I said I was grateful for the rain.  Well, the next day, the sun shone bright.  And the brighter and longer into the day it got, the hotter it got.  I know that the rain was a blessing, because I could not have worked as hard in the heat.
We will see were this adventure will take me.