Let me start out by saying there isn't one of your personalities I would have wanted to miss out on and I love you very much. What I am about to say I hope you take to heart and evaluate your lives. I know some of you are saying "Great, how old are my kids now?" (Since my oldest grandson will be 19 this year.)
I have failed you, possibly by having so many of you (mom, no I told you sos). I have been laying here thinking on this for a bit of time. I feel that I have plenty of love for all of you. I just didn't apply enough time to you individually. I remember when I first started homeschooling. I read a book called "Homeschooling in Excellence". It was about this family (who only had 2 sons) that were unschoolers. The parents provided books, materials and experiences for their sons to learn and they excelled. Where I failed is I didn't provide enough motivation. I have always known how smart you kids were, but I never managed to get you to apply yourselves. Why?? That is the question, my lack of self-esteem, lack of motivation, exhaustion; I am really unsure. I am apologizing and pray you can forgive me. And motivate yourselves to be better at life than your mother has been. Make a plan, you can change your mind but be active in life.
So here are my words of wisdom: Those of you who have children, love them, motivate them and push them to be all they can be (why is that familiar :) Try not to get so frustrated that you crawl in a hole and ignore what is going on around you. Ask for help for those that can help you. But know that in the end, it will be up to your children, what path they take. We, as parents just have to be the best we can!
My Love to All of My Children and Grandchildren
both natural and adopted
Addendum: Our children ultimately choose their own paths, but we as parents can't help feeling guilty about our actual and perceived mistakes!
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