Out with the Old in with the NEW

I am praying that many of the problems that plagued me during 2011 will quietly sneak away.
I am however realistic...I know that until I change many things will not change.
I am striving to deal with my depression...and in spite of the PS comment to the last post...I am suicidal BUT I love my family TOO much to go through with it.
I am going to put more effort into straightening out our financial situation.  I am considering becoming a Pure Romance Consultant.  I am also going to look into other possibilities.  I still would like to start a business, something to do with nature not women's health...greenhouse, garden consultant, landscaping using local critters to embellish it or teaching children about ecology.
My baby will be 13, she wants so desperately to be grown-up but at the same time wants to be a kid.  Living in a household of adults is aging her beyond her years.
Andrew would have been 16 in 2011, and it was very difficult to deal with; which is about all I am going to say on the matter because it is a sore in my life that on milestone birthdays explodes!
In 2012, Tiff will have another daughter; Milestone birthdays will be Bethany at 13, Abby at 18, Ben at 21 and Nick at 25.  I will technically have only 2 children under 18....I am moving towards the light but do I really want to :(
Dan will officially start receiving his Social Security this month and in February will be starting a Gunsmithing Course through a company called AGI to become a Professional Gunsmith.
So life will be moving on, I just pray it will move in a Great Direction this year!!
I know it will take an awful alot of effort on my part but hopefully the people in my life will also be making alot of effort to improve their lives.