2 Months Since Last Post

What have I done in the last 2 months?
Have I truly accomplished anything?
I think not and I am searching for what I am to become
***as a person
***as a wife
***as a mother
***as a grandmother
Don't get me wrong, I haven't been lying in bed.
But there is more to life than housework....I however was told by a child..."that I was the one who married young and had so many kids and chose this life"...isn't she lucky I chose to have so many kids!
I have been attending district scouting meetings, I attended a series  of Master Gardener class, that is until I succumbed to a cold.  I am trying to declutter the house.  I just felt that I am not happy in my life.

Is there a bliss out there for me?  How do I find it?   Am I too old to find it?
Just need to feel good for everyone's sake not just my own.

Don't get me wrong, there have been good moments and joys.  I find moments to be silly with Bethany.  Even had a quick visit from my NM sons and a girlfriend.  But in my mind's eye things feel shrouded by things undone, messes not cleaned up, goals not achieved and of course being ill physically.

Some times if not many times I am crippled by these things, that rattle around in my head unsaid and undone.